“Distance Doesn’t Heal What You Haven’t Faced”

Matthew 18:15-20

Introduction:

As we continue our series on Love One Another, let's recap a few sermons that will help us talk about our title today. A few weeks ago, we spoke about how love will expose our weaknesses and How Paul said that our weaknesses are sufficient in God’s Grace, then last week we spoke about how we can spiritually grow and live comfortably as long as we remain connected to the true vine who showed us that we can do greater things in Him. As long as we keep Him close. I’m reminded of the verse in 1 John 4:4, greater is He who is in you than he that is in the world. And we are going to need that to discuss this week's sermon. What we posess inside us is what we will need to understand and hear His word from Matthew. This particular section Jesus is speaking to our believers and His disciples.

“Have you ever tried to run from a problem, thinking that time and space would somehow make it disappear? Maybe you changed cities, ended a relationship, switched churches, or just buried the pain deep inside — hoping that distance would be enough to heal what hurt you. But the truth is: distance doesn’t heal wounds that haven’t been faced. Love does

In fact, unresolved pain grows in the dark.

It shapes our decisions, clouds our relationships, and blocks the freedom that God wants for us. Healing doesn’t come from running from the problem — it comes from inviting Jesus into it.

Today, God is calling us to stop running away from what we need to confront. He’s inviting us to face it — not in our strength, but with His Love. Because the same God who overcame the grave can heal the places we’ve tried so hard to avoid.”

Good morning, are you awake yet? This is something many of us have done—or are doing right now—without even realizing the damage it causes.

We've decided the best way to deal with a situation or someone is just to stay away?

You got hurt, offended, betrayed… and instead of dealing with it, you distanced yourself. You convinced yourself that time and space would do the healing. But can I tell you something real today?

Distance doesn’t heal what you haven’t faced.

Avoiding people might feel safe. It might feel like peace—but it’s not the kind of peace Jesus calls us to pursue. Real peace isn’t passive. Real peace requires confrontation, forgiveness, and healing.

we are trying to get to verse 20 a verse we use allot when it comes to church numbers. But God is saying that when we resolve our issues, when we reconcile our differences, when we practice transparency and admit that we all fall short. It means we finally decide to depend on love. Why, Cause love binds us together. So before we read this text I want to ask you a few questions. What’s harder for you: confronting someone in love or being confronted in Love? If Jesus walked into the room today, how would He want us to handle conflict and broken relationships among beleivers? What does it say about the church when we stay silent about sin, or when we go public before going private? so before we get to verse 15 let’s paint a picture starting at verse 1 can I have my kids come to the front please? Matthew 18:1

1) about that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven 2) He called a little child to him and placed the child among them 3) Then He said truly, I tell you Unless you change and become like a little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven 4) therefore, whoever takes the lonely position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven 5) and whoever welcomes such a child in my name welcomes me.

kids are amazing are they not? and Jesus knew it I mean, he should know and he did design them right they’re humble, gentle ready to forgive happy to serve, willing to go along with the group and trusting so trusting that Jesus gives a warning to those who would exploit that trust

verse six if anyone causes one of these little ones, those who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and be drowned in the depth of the sea. 7) Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come. therefore, we need to protect the vulnerable or children in our midst. It’s frustrating when we hear stories of people taking advantage of children. But Jesus gives a haunting reminder that nobody, and he means nobody gets away with hurting kids better Millstone Hung around your neck than what happens when I get a hold of you, Jesus says. Now, for those of you who are upset by that. I remind you. Those are the words of Jesus I was slightly paraphrased, of course by me. My job is not to mute or muffled them. besides, that’s how I like my Jesus one who cares about kids and doesn’t mess around when it comes to protecting them?

now look at verse 12

12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish

Still talking about kids here. Jesus is specifically talking about a lamb as lambs often wonder away maybe you cared deeply about your kids, but Jesus is saying here God cares more. “in the same way, your father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. We forget that sometimes, but remember your kids are on loan to you from God. My wife and I adopted our children. I am their father, but I’m frequently reminded that someone entrusted them to me And that’s true. You too God trust your kids to you and if they wander off, God is still seeking them. What about that wandering away? What about sin? What about people that do stupid things? Well, I’ve been that person and I’m sure you have too. We’ve all wandered off in need of correcting just like our kids. Jesus gives us a famous passage for us to ignore. or are we not suppose to ignore this passage. Sometimes we struggle with this passage, because many people fail to obey it. and why is that?

Let’s read verse Matthew 18:15

New International Version (2011) Chapter 18

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over

You see this is the one people seem to have such a hard time following. When someone sends go to them just you and them and talk them through it with a heart of love.

Point 1: Avoidance is Not Healing

Matthew 18:15 tells us what to do when we’re wronged. “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault…”

It doesn’t say:

• “Block them and move on.”

• “Tell everyone else about it first.”

• “Wait for them to figure it out.”

Jesus teaches confrontation in love. Avoiding someone might make the situation quiet—but it doesn’t make it right. Silence doesn’t fix what’s broken. Sweeping things under the rug only leads to a mountain of mess later.

Ask yourself: Am I healing, or just hiding?

16 but if they will not listen, take one or two others along so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three Witnesses if they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church and if they refuse to listen even to the church treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Truly, I tell you whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven whatever you lose on earth will be loose in heaven

OK so Jesus is talking here about church discipline I get so sick of people letting the authority part be the overwriting concept in this passage because it’s not it’s last resort the context how much God cares for people

I want to first talk about the fire we spoke about last week in chapter John 15 and the mona lisa. When we see this word sin its like gossip we got something good to talk about. But the definition of sin is any thought, word,or action that goes against the will of God. “Missing the Mark” The Hebrew word “chata” and the Greek word “hamartia” both mean to miss the mark. Like an archer missing a target.

This is very unique because in the bible there are only 6 words that both have the same meaning in Hebrew and greek.

Sin, Peace, Love, Righteousness, spirit and grace/favor. They all carry the same core theological or moral meaning. The reason you see one negative word (sin) and several positive words (peace, love, righteousness and grace is not accidental. It reflects a deeper theological truth about the nature of God’s revelation in the Bible:

Sin is the root of brokenness—but God’s work is redemptive.

The Bible starts with humanity’s fall into sin, but the rest of the story is God’s response: peace, love, grace, righteousness, and restoration through His Spirit.

Romans 6:23 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. I believe this that God made heaven before he made hell!

While sin is a major theme, the Bible overwhelmingly emphasizes what God does to overcome sin—through Christ, the Holy Spirit, and the church.

Sin may be the central problem, but God addresses it through multiple aspects of His character: Peace to calm the chaos, Love to restore relationship, Grace to forgive, Righteousness to realign us with His will, Spirit to empower us, And salvation to deliver us.

We can’t focus on the little bridge in the back, we need to focus on the Mona Lisa and that’s the redemptive nature of God’s Character.

Point 2: Hidden Wounds Still Hurt

Scripture: Jeremiah 6:14 “They offer superficial treatments for my people’s mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace.”

Idea: Covering pain doesn’t cure it. Time and distance without truth only deepen the wound.

You can move locations but pain travels with you if it’s unaddressed.

Point 3: Distance Distorts

When we avoid people instead of resolving issues, the longer we stay away, the more room the enemy has to plant lies:

• “They don’t care.”

• “They meant to hurt you.”

• “You don’t need them anyway.”

Distance gives the devil a microphone.

Think about Jacob and Esau in Genesis. After Jacob deceived his brother, he ran. He stayed away for years. That distance didn’t resolve their issues—it just prolonged the pain. But when they finally reunited, God did something powerful. Esau ran to Jacob, embraced him, and forgave him.

Healing didn’t happen in the distance—it happened in the moment of confrontation and humility.

Point 4: We Are Called to Reconciliation, Not Retreat

2 Corinthians 5:18 says,

“God… reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

That’s our job now. Not avoidance. Not ghosting people. Not giving the silent treatment.

Reconciliation is our assignment.

Romans 12:18 adds,

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Not everyone will respond well. Not every relationship will go back to the way it was. But as believers, we are responsible for making the first move—for saying, “I forgive you,” “Can we talk?”, “I want peace.”

That’s what Jesus did for us. He didn’t wait for us to get it right—He came to us. He pursued us. He forgave us while we were still broken.

Point 5: Jesus Faced Brokenness, So Should We

Look at how Jesus handled people who hurt Him:

• Judas betrayed Him—Jesus still shared a meal with him.

• Peter denied Him—Jesus restored him.

• The crowd crucified Him—He prayed, “Father, forgive them.”

Jesus didn’t run from confrontation—He leaned into it with truth, grace, and love. If you’re following Jesus, you can’t avoid what He confronted. You have to face it. With courage. With humility. With love.

19)again truly, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for it will be done for them by my father in heaven 20) for where two or three gather in my name there I am with them

Closing Prayer:

*“Father, today we bring before You the things we’ve tried to run from. We confess that distance hasn’t healed the wounds we’ve hidden. But we believe that You are the God who draws close to the brokenhearted.

We ask You to shine Your light into every dark place within us. Places of fear, anger, regret, shame, and pain. Give us the courage to face what hurts, not in our own strength, but in the power of Your Spirit. Remind us that You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

Heal us from the inside out, Lord. Make us whole. Today we stop running, and we start trusting You to do what only You can do. Thank You for being the God who finishes what He starts. We surrender our broken pieces into Your healing hands.

In Jesus’ mighty name we pray — Amen.”*

If we can pray for you or talk about helping you overcome the anxiety to choosing God as your savior we can do that right now as we together stand and sing